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New Workplace Diversity Initiative Kills One White Employee Every Hour On The Hour Until More Minority Candidates Hired

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New Workplace Diversity Initiative Kills One White Employee Every Hour On The Hour Until More Minority Candidates Hired
TERRE HAUTE, IN—In an effort to foster a more inclusive workplace, Jetsam Marketing Solutions announced Wednesday a new plan to implement diversity by conducting hourly regimented killings of white employees and hiring a more equitable percentage of minority candidates in their stead. “Until our staffing goals are met, one white person, preferably a straight man, will be publicly executed every 60 minutes, leaving a vacant position for a candidate who represents an historically disadvantaged group,” said human resources manager Allison Conte, who sat behind her desk and sharpened a knife as she told reporters the company could no longer be...
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